5 Practical Ways We Can Love our Neighbors
5 Practical Ways We Can Love our Neighbors
…“You must love the Lord your God with all your heart, all your soul, and all your mind.’ This is the first and greatest commandment. A second is equally important: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’ The entire law and all the demands of the prophets are based on these two commandments.” - Jesus (Matthew 22:37-40, NLT)
Jesus told us that we should love our neighbors. You and I know this, but whether or not we take it to heart (or live it out) is a whole different matter…
As followers of Jesus, it’s imperative that we take time to really think about what it could look like for us to love our neighbors within our current contexts, cultures, and communities; but more than just thinking about how we can live this out, we need to actually be doing it!
So right now, let’s consider five practical ways you and I can demonstrate the love of Jesus to our neighbors, starting with the people who live in closest proximity to us: our actual neighbors.
We can love our neighbors by learning their names.
Before moving to our current neighborhood, we lived on the same street for seven years. During that time, I interacted with our across-the-street neighbor a handful of times, but never once asked her what her name was. I wish I had…
When we moved into our current house four years ago, one of the first things we tried to do was learn the names of our new neighbors. We still don’t know the names of everyone who lives on our street, but we’ve learned the names of the neighbors with whom we have the most opportunities to interact.
We’re on a first-name basis with the people who live in each house on either side of us, the two houses across the street, our backyard neighbor, the neighbor at the end of the street who rides her bike past our house twice a day, and a few others scattered in between. It’s a start!
And this has made every interaction we’ve had with these neighbors more personable, and way less awkward!
Introductions are a bit of a lost art — at least for my generation. So, rather than waiting for someone else to introduce themselves to you, or for names to come up naturally in conversation (which they likely won’t, aside from a formal introduction), it’s okay to just come right out and ask someone their name.
Even if you’ve been their neighbor for seven years, it’s better to admit you still don’t know their name than to go another seven years not knowing it.
Nowadays, when someone new moves onto our street, I make a point to go over and introduce myself and learn their names. And I’ve started handing them a little note welcoming them to our neighborhood, in which I include the names of everyone in our household. That way, there are three fewer people whose names they don’t know, right off the bat. And it’s amazing how much more likely they are to interact with us, simply because they know our names, and we know theirs!
We can love our neighbors by exchanging contact information with them.
A while back, our next-door neighbors suddenly disappeared for a whole month. If it had been during the summer, we wouldn’t have thought much of it. But their son was still in high school, so taking a month-long vacation in the middle of November seemed unlikely. A couple weeks into their absence, we started to grow concerned, but we had no way to contact them.
As soon as they got back into town, they explained what had happened. There had been a death in their family, and because of their religious beliefs, they were obligated to take part in a month-long ritual with the rest of their living relatives. And their relatives live in New York, so...
“We wanted to let you know before we left, but it was so last minute, and you guys weren’t home. Can we get your phone number, so we’ll have a way to reach you next time?”
In retrospect, exchanging numbers seems so obvious.
And now that our neighbors have our number, they do occasionally reach out when they need us, or to let us know when something has happened. And I love that!
We can love our neighbors by checking in on them periodically.
I don’t know about you, but I live in a culture where avoiding eye contact and general interaction with other people while hurrying to accomplish as much as possible is the name of the game. Anybody else?
That being said, it might feel unnatural to intentionally make contact with your neighbors. But there are some cultural norms that are bad for us and worth unlearning; and avoiding healthy (safe and appropriate) human interactions is something we should work to de-normalize…
If you see your neighbors outside, that’s a great opportunity to walk over and say “hello.” If they’re clearly in the middle of something, don’t subject them to a lengthy conversation, of course. But if they seem open to engaging with you, take the opportunity to ask them how they’re doing.
If you haven’t seen your neighbors outside in a while, why not make an intentional trip over to check on them? Just knock on their front door, and if they answer, say something like, “Hey, it’s been a while since I’ve seen you, so I just wanted to make sure everything is okay. Are you doing alright? Do you need anything?”
Odds are, your neighbor’s been fine — just busy. But you never know. And either way, they’ll likely be grateful that you cared enough to ask.
As you engage with your neighbors, ask lots of questions, and listen with genuine interest to their answers. You can let them do most of the talking. (In my experience, they will!) And their answers will likely drive the conversation forward, leading to the natural next question to help you know them better.
Over the past four years, some of our neighbors have shared with us about their successes and losses, their health issues and financial hardships, their jobs, their children and grandchildren, their birthdays, their religious beliefs, their interests and hobbies, their hopes, their fears, their immediate needs…
It’s incredible how much you can learn about your neighbors once you’ve broken down that barrier between strangers living next door to one another!
The more you know about your neighbors, the better you’ll be able to demonstrate the love of Jesus to them in tangible ways that are tailored to them. And who knows? You may even have the privilege of sharing the Good News of Jesus with them as a natural part of them learning more about your life, or of them wanting to know what drives you to care so deeply about others. But even if that never happens, caring about your neighbors and loving them like Jesus is and will always have been worthwhile.
We can love our neighbors by taking them a meal.
This can be a little tricky in the twenty-first century, I know. It seems like everyone has some sort of dietary restriction, be it for health reasons, religious observances, personal preferences, etc.
There is, of course, the old adage: “It’s the thought that counts.” And there is some truth to that…
Until I know better, I might bring over a plate of cookies that my neighbor may or may not be able to eat. But as I learn more about my neighbors, I can bring them foods better suited for their specific needs.
For example, one of my neighbors has shared with us that she’s a devout Hindu. She doesn’t eat beef. So when I take a meal over to her family, I usually bring them a chicken dish. It’s not that I am affirming or adhering to her religious beliefs. It’s that I love her family, and I want to meet them where they live right now. And right now, if I make them a pot of cheeseburger soup, “it’s the thought that counts” won’t fill their bellies. (And frankly, it’s not a very thoughtful thought if it’s inconsiderate of what they’ve already told me about themselves.)
Once you’ve developed a rapport with your neighbors, it’s totally fine to ask them outright whether or not they have any special dietary needs — especially in the context of letting them know you’d like to bring them a meal. I’ve yet to offend any of our neighbors by asking them if they have any food allergies or other restrictions. Alternatively, our neighbors across the street very thoughtfully brought us a meal once with a handwritten note detailing the ingredients, just in case. We’ve since told them that we don’t have any food allergies, so in the future, they won’t have to bother; but I was touched by their thoughtfulness.
As you get to know your neighbors, you may learn about circumstances in their lives (sickness, loss of loved ones, loss of jobs, etc.) in which being presented with a meal would be extremely helpful or comforting to them.
You don’t need a specific circumstance or occasion to warrant taking someone a meal or a baked good or basket of fresh fruit, though. Uncommon as it may be, “I was just thinking of you guys, and wanted to bring you something to express how much we love having you as our neighbors,” is a perfectly good excuse!
(And if your neighbors have a beloved pet, you might consider bringing a treat for Fido as well! This is just one other way you can show that you care about what your neighbors care about.)
We can love our neighbors by praying for them.
This one is super simple, but no less important! (And admittedly, this is the one I forget to do the most.)
The more you get to know your neighbors, the more personal your prayers for them can become. But you don’t need to know how to pray for your neighbors to ask God to bless them.
And here’s something that I think is understated among Christians: You can pray for people without telling them you’re praying for them. Prayer does not somehow become more powerful, or even more meaningful, when the people we’re praying for are aware that they’re being prayed for.
Your prayers for your neighbors can be kept between you and God. But don’t think for a minute that this isn’t one of the most loving things you can do for your neighbors — especially if you’re also loving them in tangible ways!
Let me wrap this up by making an honest confession: I haven’t always done this well, and I still often don’t. I am, however, actively making changes in my own lifestyle to ensure that loving my neighbors isn’t just a good idea, but rather, a priority practice.
I want to become the kind of Jesus follower that others can look at and say, “Oh, she really takes Jesus’ words to heart. This Christianity thing must be real to her.”
Because it is. It’s the realest thing I know.
Jesus said that the world will know we are His followers if we love one another the way He’s loved us (John 13:34-35). And how has Jesus demonstrated His love for us?
Jesus demonstrated His love for us through personal sacrifice (John 15:13; Romans 5:8; Philippians 2:5-8).
Jesus demonstrated His love for us by being intentional (Luke 19:1-10) and relational (Matthew 9:9-13).
And Jesus demonstrated His love for us by seeing and addressing our needs — not just our spiritual needs (John 4:10, 13; John 14:16-17), but also our emotional needs (John 11:1-44), our physical needs (John 5:1-8), and our tangible needs (Matthew 15:29-38).
Just as Jesus has made sacrifices for us, has been intentional and relational with us, and sees and addresses our needs, you and I can do the same for the people God has placed in our lives. And though the call for us to love others as Jesus loves us certainly applies to loving our fellow Christians, we’d be wrong to think that our Christ-like love is only supposed to extend that far.
God loved, and still loves, the whole world (John 3:16); and consequently, so should we… starting with our neighbors.
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