A Life of Love Is a Life Not Wasted
A Life of Love Is a Life Not Wasted
She went by many names: Sister, Betty Anne, Mama, Betty, or as I knew my grandmother, Nanny.
My Nanny was an artful storyteller, and she loved to tell us all about life in the “old days.” And having been born at the tail-end of the great depression, and growing up with two younger brothers in its wake, she had some incredible stories to tell!
But there was one story in particular that she told us often, growing up, and though it wasn’t all that incredible, it was incredibly effectual. It was the kind of story you’d wish wasn’t really a true story, because it doesn’t have a happy ending — or I should say, it wouldn’t have had a happy ending, if its ending had truly been the end of the story.
It was the story of one of the last things her beloved father said to her, as he lay dying — just three regret-ridden words:
“Wasted years, Sister.”
My Nanny carried that moment with her through the decades that followed, and I have to believe the memory of those words, spoken upon someone else’s deathbed, stoked a fire inside of her. Because if there’s something I can say about my Nanny in the years that I was blessed to know her, it’s that she did not waste the years that were given to her.
It’s a beautiful truth that, for those of us who are in Christ Jesus, the sum of our lives is not found by weighing the good things we’ve done against the bad. No, for those of us who are in Christ Jesus and have had our accounts settled by Him, the sum of our lives will be every moment of our lives that was lived out by faith (Romans 4:1-8).
And the most telling fruit that faith produces in our lives, when it’s genuine, is the love of God (1 John 4:7-21). And my Nanny didn’t just put her faith in Jesus for salvation, and then continue living her life any which way she pleased. No, as a grateful recipient of God’s love for her, she started on a life-long journey of being transformed into a conduit for God’s love to be seen and felt by those around her.
My Nanny made a point to know her neighbors by name, as well as the names and ages of their children and their grandchildren. She prayed for them. She checked on them. If they were sick, she made them soup; and she had a kitchen cabinet full of empty sauce jars to be filled with soup for just such occasions! (Come to think of it, I can hardly remember a time when she wasn’t making soup for someone — a neighbor, an elderly widow or widower from church, a sick member of her Sunday class, or even my family.)
My Nanny loved to read, and probably read the Bible more than any other book, as she was always learning something new to teach to her Sunday School classes. (Over the span of several decades, she faithfully taught both children and adults.)
My Nanny loved to watch the Home Shopping Network, but she would always watch it with others in mind. It was not uncommon to receive a spontaneous gift from my Nanny with the explanation, “I saw this doohickey being shown on the TV, and thought it might be really useful to you, so I bought it for you.”
My Nanny had an office cupboard drawer that was full to the brim with greeting cards for all sorts of occasions, so that she would always have one readily available whenever she’d hear tell of someone who might benefit from a word of sympathy, celebration, or encouragement. (And she never just signed her cards. She wrote thoughtful, heartfelt books inside each and every one of them — words that were meant to “give grace” to their recipients (Ephesians 4:29)!)
My Nanny lived her life on the lookout for opportunities to love people; and I am just one of countless others — family, friends, next-door neighbors, total strangers — who experienced the love of God firsthand through being loved by her.
When I think of my Nanny, I will remember and celebrate a life not wasted, but well-lived. And now, there’s a new story to be passed down to future generations in my family. It, too, is a story of one of the last things someone said as they lay dying, but this story’s ending is much better than the old one’s.
In the days before she passed away, my Nanny stopped talking. But before that happened, one of the last things she said to my Papa (my grandfather, and her husband of over 70 years) were these six words:
“I love you more than anything.”
And I am certain, there was not a hint of regret in those words.
Alzheimer’s is a cruel disease that robs people of many things in this lifetime, including, often, meaningful last words. And so I think this was such a special gift to my family — a good gift from a good God who kept on loving all of us through His beloved Betty, my Nanny, right up to the very end.
And though not all of us got to hear the words “I love you” spoken to us directly towards the end of her life, that’s okay. We know she loved us, because she had already shown us her love for us, through the way she lived out her days here on this earth.
“A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another. By this everyone will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another.” - Jesus (John 13:34-35, NIV)
I eagerly expect and hope that I will in no way be ashamed, but will have sufficient courage so that now as always Christ will be exalted in my body, whether by life or by death. For to me, to live is Christ and to die is gain. - Philippians 1:20-21 (NIV)
In loving memory of Betty Anne Roberts (April 21, 1935 - March 11, 2024), who lived a life of love — a life that was not wasted.
We’ll see you again real soon, Nanny…
Brothers and sisters, we do not want you to be uninformed about those who sleep in death, so that you do not grieve like the rest of mankind, who have no hope. For we believe that Jesus died and rose again, and so we believe that God will bring with Jesus those who have fallen asleep in him. According to the Lord’s word, we tell you that we who are still alive, who are left until the coming of the Lord, will certainly not precede those who have fallen asleep. For the Lord himself will come down from heaven, with a loud command, with the voice of the archangel and with the trumpet call of God, and the dead in Christ will rise first. After that, we who are still alive and are left will be caught up together with them in the clouds to meet the Lord in the air. And so we will be with the Lord forever. Therefore encourage one another with these words. - 1 Thessalonians 4:13-18 (NIV)
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