Pouring Our Hearts out in Prayer
Pouring Our Hearts out in Prayer
Have you ever wondered where the line is drawn between us pouring our hearts out to God in honest prayer, and dishonoring Him with our lack of propriety?
I am currently working with a team to put together a Bible study for high school students that walks through the book of Job. A co-writer and I were discussing the proposed content for one of the lessons, which is all about how we are invited to bring our questions to God when we don’t understand what’s happening in our lives, and he suggested that we ought to include some reasonable parameters for our questioning, to make sure we’re not teaching the next generation to spout off at God, disrespectfully.
After all, while we may be invited to bring our honest prayers to God, He is still God, and the Bible tells us that we should fear Him. (The fear of God is the beginning of wisdom, right?) So in having a healthy respect for the fact that He is God, and we are not, a line should probably be drawn somewhere, to distinguish where being “real” and “honest” and “raw” becomes too real and too honest and too raw...
This is probably similar to how most of us were raised, or are being raised, to talk to our parents or other authority figures in our lives: with a healthy level of honor and respect.
Most of us have learned that it’s not okay to say just anything and everything that comes to our minds in the moment — especially when we are frustrated or angry with an authority figure in our lives. We might tread a bit more lightly, in that situation, choosing our words more wisely, lest there be some sort of retribution for our careless remarks.
If we’re teenagers, spouting off to our parents might get us grounded.
If we’re adults, yelling at our boss might get us fired.
We understand this in human relationships, and so, we exercise restraint — or when we don’t, we usually suffer some sort of consequences, or there is typically some form of punishment.
With all this in mind, I was giving a great deal of thought to my co-writer’s suggestion, and trying to determine exactly where — with God — that line should be drawn. Surely, he was right. There must be a line…
Though I have to be honest with you, there have been times in my life when I am certain that, if such a line exists, I’ve crossed it! If nothing else, at the point where I’d draw my personal line of “this is an okay way to talk to God,” and “this is not” — I was wellllll into the “not okay” territory. And maybe it was simply out of His unfathomable mercy, but God did not smite me. He did not punish me for my lack of respect. If anything, I walked away from those times of pouring my heart out to God — as ugly as it was — feeling as if I at least knew that God was really there and really listening to me.
Nevertheless, as I continued thinking about how write that lesson on the book of Job, and what we should be communicating to the next generation with regard to bringing our honest questions to God, what I kept coming back to was this: I couldn’t find a single verse in Scripture that instructs us to be careful how we speak to God. (And trust me, I looked for it!)
My upbringing tells me to be careful how I speak to God.
Some of my mentors, teachers, and spiritual leaders have told me that.
Personal relationships that I’ve had with authoritarian dynamics have taught me that.
My instincts, even, might tell me that I should be careful how I speak to God…
But God’s Word — which should be the authority on the matter — doesn’t say I should be cautious how I approach God. Actually, it tells me the very opposite.
For those of us who are in Christ, it tells us this:
Therefore, let us approach the throne of grace with boldness, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help us in time of need. - Hebrews 4:16, CSB
The Bible tells us that we should come boldly! And coming boldly doesn’t sound like coming well-prepared, having taken time to plan out exactly what to say and how to say it without coming across as disrespectful.
Coming boldly sounds like coming in the moment, in the height of my angst — in the height of my need — in the height of my [fill in the blank]. And coming without any fear of retribution.
The Bible tells us that “fear has to do with punishment” (1 John 4:16-18). And guess what? Jesus already took our punishment in full upon Himself on the cross. When you and I fully grasp this truth, we’ll understand that we no longer have any reason to be afraid of God.
The fear of the LORD is essential for each of us, at the point at which any of us turns to God in the first place, because without a healthy fear of the LORD, we would never recognize our need for the Savior. Jesus taught us in Matthew 10:28 that there’s nothing else worthy of our fear than God, because anything else — even if it can kill our bodies — cannot kill our souls. God is the only one with the power to kill both body and soul. And for anyone who has not yet received salvation by grace, through faith (Ephesians 2:8-9), that should be a truly terrifying thought…
But when we come to God, through Jesus, and receive everything He’s offered to us, the Bible teaches that when we receive His perfect love, we no longer have to be afraid of Him. Because God’s perfect love (when we understand it) casts out our fears, because we never again have to be fearful that He’s going to punish us (1 John 4:16-18)!
In the story of Job, after things got so bad that Job began to argue his perceived innocence before God and to question why God would let him suffer so horrifically, Job’s friends began to reprimand him. “Whoa there… Job, what are you doing, man? You can’t talk to God like that. You can’t question Him. You can’t suggest that He might’ve made a mistake. Show some respect, or He might kill you!”
And Job had this to say in response to them:
“Even if [God] kills me, I will hope in him. I will still defend my ways before him.” - Job 13:15 (CSB)
What Job was basically saying was this: “I don’t understand why God’s letting these things happen to me, but I believe that the God to whom I’m bringing my questions and doubts and arguments and defenses is a good God, and I still trust His heart for me. If I’m wrong, surely He will kill me, and He’d be right to. But I’m convinced that God’s approachable… and so, I’m coming to Him, with all that I am.”
If there’s anything you and I can take away from the story of Job, it’s that God was glad that Job came to Him with all the ugly that was within him — even if Job said some of the wrong things or used a wrong tone with God. And in the end, Job was closer to God than He’d ever been!
And just like Job, you and I can come to God, just as we are. We don’t have to fix our hearts or our attitudes first. Rather, we can bring our messed up hearts and attitudes to our loving Father!
Because the truth of the matter is that you and I can’t fix our messed up hearts and attitudes anyway! Only God can! And often, until the overflow of our hearts comes to the surface (Luke 6:45), you and I won’t even realize how ugly truly it is (Jeremiah 17:19)!
God, on the other hand, already knows exactly what our hearts contain. He’s not caught off guard by it, or even angry about it. And He won’t ground us or fire us or hit us or abandon us, because we mouthed off.
God will always hear the heart-cries of His children — even His sometimes disrespectful, impertinent, and inappropriate children. And once the content of our hearts comes spilling out, you and I better believe, He’ll have something to say to us in response…
But God’s response to us won’t be, “How dare you!” or, “I’m so disappointed in you!” or, “Don’t come back here till you’ve learned some respect!”
No! God’s not like us, in that way! He’s sooooo much better!
He’ll speak truth to our misbeliefs, courage to our despair, justice to our unjust accusations, and healing to our wounds.
Where we are impetuous, He is ever-patient. Where we are mean, He is so kind. Where we are accusatory, and He would have every right to point the finger right back at us, He instead is willing to take the punishments that are so rightfully ours upon Himself.
If in our anger, if in our frustration, if in our doubts and fears and misbeliefs, we let the fear of “being disrespectful” or “crossing a line” with God stop us from coming to Him until we’re sure we can say the right thing the right way — it’ll stop us from coming to Him altogether, or at the very least, at the moments when you and I need to stand before His throne the most!
If reverential timidity is our heart posture toward God, well-meaning as it may be — if we don’t believe we can bring all of our heart-ugly to our Father, as if He doesn’t already know what’s in there — if we truly believe that we have to water it down or wait until our emotions have subsided before bringing our honest thoughts and fears and doubts and questions and feelings and arguments and defenses to God — then perhaps we don’t yet understand His heart for us.
In wrestling through this, and trying to find where that “line” begins and ends, what I’ve found instead is that the most respectful thing — the thing most honoring to God’s character — that you or I can do is to come boldly, bringing all that we are to all of Him.
If there is a line, God doesn’t need us to draw it for ourselves or for anyone else. He draws His own lines (Job 38:8-11), and He bids us, “Come.”
And so…
Therefore, let us approach the throne of grace with boldness, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help us in time of need. - Hebrews 4:16 (CSB)
Right now, for you and me, this is our invitation to bring all that we are to all of Him.
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