Think about Such Things
Think about Such Things
A few weeks back, one of my Christian friends said something that really got under my skin.
Their offense was minor, and at face value, what they’d said probably shouldn’t have offended me at all. But their words evoked big emotions within me, stirring up deep hurts and causing me to feel angry with my friend.
I almost confronted them about what they’d said, but then I realized, I wasn’t even sure how to go about that. They hadn’t technically done anything wrong — not in that moment, at least.
And that was the thing: it wasn’t what they’d said in that moment that was bothering me, so much as those words in correlation with other things my friend had said and done in the past. And as I stewed over the most current interaction I’d had with my friend, I found myself replaying past conversations and recounting all the ways my friend had wronged me over the years.
There was a pattern, to be sure. That’s why my big feelings over such a small, seemingly unoffensive offense were completely justified.
That’s what I convinced myself of, at least.
A week passed, and I was still upset. Though I’d convinced myself that my feelings were justified, my spirit (and the Spirit of God within me) was unsettled. I was harboring unforgiveness and resentment, and I knew it; and I also knew that that wasn’t right.
Unforgiveness is never justified, for those of us who’ve received God’s forgiveness for ourselves.
Instead, we are called to live in this way:
Let all bitterness, anger and wrath, shouting and slander be removed from you, along with all malice. And be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving one another, just as God also forgave you in Christ. - Ephesians 4:31-32 (CSB)
I didn’t want to stay angry with my friend any longer. I also knew that there wasn’t anything my friend needed to do (or even could do) to change our current situation. Still, I was finding it difficult not to feel hurt or angry every time that friend came to mind.
So, I prayed, “Lord Jesus, I don’t want to feel this way about my friend anymore. And I want to forgive them, just like You forgave me. But I can’t stop feeling this way. Please help me.”
Immediately, a verse popped into my mind:
Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things. - Philippians 4:8 (NIV)
I’ve spent a lot of time in Philippians in the past, and the themes of gratitude and joy have always stood out most prominently to me. More recently, however — perhaps because it’s such a prevalent issue in our churches (Christian communities) today — the thing that’s caught my attention in Philippians has been all of the mentions of disunity among Christians, and the Apostle Paul’s exhortations for Christians (both then and now) to choose unity in spite of disagreements and offenses.
While I used to think Philippians 4:8 was about keeping our thoughts pure (undefiled by worldly content, ideas, etc.), having since given greater thought to that verse in context with the whole of Philippians, I’ve come to the conclusion that Paul was more likely referring to how we ought to think about one another.
So with this understanding of Philippians 4:8 in mind, I began to think differently about my friend. Rather than recounting all the ways they’d wronged me, I began to list off the many good things about them — things that are true, noble, right, pure, lovely, and admirable — all of the excellent and praiseworthy things they’ve done.
Wrongs aside, my friend is generous, compassionate, faithful, persevering, and kind, among other things; and for each positive attribute I could come up with to describe my friend, I could recall specific instances in which they had displayed these attributes through their words and actions.
It wasn’t long before I noticed that all those negative feelings I’d been harboring against my friend were dissipating, and growing in place of them were a sense of empathy, compassion, and admiration. Where, before, there had been resentment, there was now a rekindled love for my friend.
See, this is what happens when we choose to think about what’s right with someone, rather than focusing on what’s wrong with them. (And if God is at work in someone’s life, there’s always going to be something right with them, because He’s in the business of making things right.)
Perhaps as you read my story just now, someone came to your mind — a fellow Christian in your life who has offended you in some way, whom you’ve been struggling to forgive. Maybe, every time you think about that person, all you can think of is everything that’s wrong with them.
Friend, let me encourage you in the same way that I was encouraged:
As relates to your friend,
… whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things. - Philippians 4:8 (NIV)
May you find (just as I did with my friend) that in celebrating the good work that God has already done and is doing in your friend’s life, there is little room left to keep focusing on the areas where God’s not finished working in them yet (Philippians 1:6)!
Want to read more articles like this one? Subscribe today for free, and you’ll get blog posts and updates sent straight to your inbox, so you’ll never miss a thing!
